5 Centimeter per Second
by Redlin Vermilion
Summary: "At what speed must I live, to be able to see you again?"


_"Hey Maki-chan, did you know what is the speed of a falling sakura petals are?"_

_"Huh? Why would I know something like that?"_

_"Well, you are a genius, so I thought you might as well know this trivial stuff"_

_"I'm not a genius, geez. And I don't know that kind of things, it's not really important, isn't it? Why would you ask anyway?"_

_"No reason really. They said that those petals fall for about 5 centimeters per second, you know?"_

_"If you already know the answer, why did you ask me int the first place! Mou, sometimes I don't really get you Nico-chan"_

_"Ahahaha, don't make that kind of face Maki-chan~ C'mon let's get going"_

* * *

You know Maki-chan, that day when I ask you, I was wondering, is our separation going to come as fast as the sakura petals falls into the ground?  
Will our path crossed once again? Will I ever met you again?

_Just how much pain should I bear to be able to see you again?_

* * *

It's been ages since that day of spring.

It's been ages since the day of my graduation day.

It's been ages since the last time I saw you.

I miss the days we used to spend together with the others.

I miss the days when I'm able to hold your hand with these small hands of mine.

I miss seeing your smile, seeing the way your hair moves by the winds.

I miss looking into your amethyst eyes and see the reflection within.

What is the price for me to experience those feeling once again?

* * *

_How much more do I have to lose, before my heart is forgiven?_

_Whenever we disagreed, I would always give in first  
Your selfish nature made me love you even more_

* * *

Now I'm trying to find my reason of existence.

I am already become an famous idol in the world.

But even so, this life I've been living doesn't give me the spark that I used to feel when we're still together.

I'm not even sure if I am alive.

If I am, why do I feel so empty inside?

It feels like the days I've been through since then doesn't have any meaning at all.

It feels like repeating a day again and again, for as long as I can remember.

This life I've been living feels like some sort of infinite loop, just me and nothingness tried to chase one after another.

Say, where do I take the wrong turn?

* * *

_I'm always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere  
If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away  
If a miracle were to happen here, I would show you right away  
And the words I never said: "I love you."  
_

* * *

I finally gave up with being an idol.

I don't think I can continue it any longer, not when I'm not even sure what to expect from tomorrow.

This days passes by so fast, I couldn't even catch up.

But I'm not worried because there's nothing new to know.

This days keeps repeating, doing as hard as it can to make me gave in and just let it flow like the yesterdays.

Do I need to be alive?

Do I deserve to be alive?

Do I _want_ to be alive?

If this things keep repeating, What is the point to keep upon living?

* * *

_If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away  
There would be nothing I couldn't do  
I would put everything on the line and hold you tight_

* * *

They used to say that we're like a magnet.

We attract each other even we didn't mean to.

Whenever we had our fights, it's always resolve by the end of the day.

Even though we'd argued everyday, that's just makes the days worth remembering.

And those things we'd argued with each other always the trivial stuff, we're just to stubborn to admit that everything we had matches.

We are like the spitting image, the thing that makes us different is the way we're living our life.

I'm always dreaming, while you're always complying.

Sooner or later, we knew that we can never walk the same path again.

We knew that the goodbyes is a certainty.

How long can I keep this up?

* * *

_I'm always searching, for fragments of you to appear somewhere  
_At the railroad crossing, waiting for the express to pass_  
At a street crossing, in the midst of dreams_

_Even though I know you couldn't be at such a place_

* * *

Is this my punishment for being so weak? For being a coward?

I can't even dreamed anymore. I am losing myself.

But this is fine, isn't it?

After all, for what do I need myself now?

All I have is emptiness.

It's just a matter of time before memories of yours turns into nothingness.

Should I chase after a past that has been long gone?

Should I still cling to the yesterdays that was forgotten?

* * *

_One more time, oh seasons, fade not  
One more time, when we were messing around  
One more chance, the memories restrain my steps  
One more chance, I cannot choose my next destination  
_

* * *

With nothing to look forward to, I am walking this road aimlessly.

With no memories to remember to, I have nothing to hold onto.

Can I just stay like this, until this lives finally gave in?

I am losing myself more and more, I feel nothing even though it should be everything.

Say, had I have enough already?

If only I could turn back time, would I give it a chance?

* * *

_If our lives could be repeated, I would be at your side every time  
I would want nothing else  
Besides you, nothing else matters_

* * *

"If only I was brave enough back then"

* * *

I am so sorry, I'm trying to make this story as sad as I can, but I don't think I manage to do that.

But to tell you the truth, I do shed some tears when writing the first lines, and then I just don't care anymore nearing the end. Just like how Nico feel throughout the story.

And also, I am sorry, for making this story instead of updating the on-going one.

Love Live will never be mine.


End file.
